Lucid Dream Diary
Lucid Dream Diary:
Taking Ayahuasca can and will increase the frequency, duration, and consciousness levels of dream states. I wanted to give an account of many of my visions since I began taking Ayahuasca to give readers an idea of what can happen. Your dreams and their qualities are based on your personal self, habits, predilections, and characteristics, so these are my own subjective experiences, though some parallels exist with other dreamers that I’ve read or heard about.
One common dream I would have after the first time I took Ayahuasca was the “levitation dream”. What would most often happen was this: I would be lying in bed awake, and the next thing I would know was that my body was rising up off the bed, still covered by my bedcovers. There would be no break in consciousness between waking and dreaming that I could notice, and this I found to be fascinating, as at first I would think I was levitating in a waking state. I would get excited and then induce an out of body experience and see the room I was in in its entirety, and realize immediately that I was dreaming.
Often, I would float around my room as though being moved by an unseen force, or I would have the consciousness and control necessary to go out of my window and fly around the neighborhood. These events are joyful for me, so freeing and so vivid, and I would make goals for myself regarding these types of dreams as time progressed. One major goal is to try to establish the vision to hold the same qualities of waking sight, which is rare and extremely difficult. I’ve had one dream in my life that was so “real” seeming that I asked my friend in the dream if someone who was awake could see us where we were in reality, which was on the street in my old neighborhood in CT at the same time of night as when I’d fallen asleep. He indicated they would need to have “second sight”, or they would just feel our presences there. I remember scanning everything, so vivid and beautiful in the wooded region of CT that I used to live. There was water nearby, right next to the road, and it glistened in the moonlight.
Since using Ayahuasca in March of 2015, I’ve had many lucid dreams of varying types and qualities. In one, I was lying in bed, hallucinating (within the dream) a woman’s voice yelling about something from the sky, and for some reason I felt totally at ease. I was content and at peace in bed. I remember seeing an owl vividly in that dream, an image of such beauty that I was captivated. All of a sudden, I sprung out of my bed (in the dream) and started viciously attacking a kind of bobble-head clown that was stuck on the floor in my dream bedroom. My mouth and face seemed possessed by some kind of rage at the time, and when I tried to speak, I would just growl and make semi-demonic noises. There was a mixture of total peace and beauty and harmony and then after this raw aggression that possessed my dreaming body that the dream had a strange duality to it. Like heaven and hell in one place, inside of me.
In another dream I was in a room at the beginning with a group of men who were mediums. They were discussing something very seriously while I was there and they seemed to take no notice of me. I recall leaving that room and then going into a kind of apartment living room with another person there, a young man I think, and he was on his computer with media playing. There was a cartoon of Garfield the cat that was on the computer, and the image of Garfield, in full color, expanded and projected out of the computer screen in the vision right in my face. I recall thinking that media is so much more powerful when you’re asleep and are experiencing it, music and movies that I’ve seen in dreams are way more intense, vivid, and breathtaking. Another scene in the dream was myself in a kind of outdoor seating area that was huge, at least fifty or a hundred thousand people were seated or standing in a semi-circular set of bleachers, like a stadium for sports, but entirely exposed on one side to a brightly lit sea that stretched out into infinity. I recall doing something very powerful then. I heightened my attention and elicited a windstorm to occur in the lucid dream while the crowd cheered and swayed in the wind. They weren’t cheering me, I don’t know exactly what the function was of the crowd but it seemed to be a gathering for celebration or worship or entertainment, or all of the above. I raised my hand and the wind died down, and then I woke up.
In another dream, I was in my home (but in a dream version that has no real connection to my actual house) and there were some children there with me, around age eight to ten I think. I recall wandering the hallways of this seemingly large house until I found my way outside. Once outside, I was in the backyard (which looked much more like my real backyard than the inside of the house the real house) and I decided to try to fly. I gave brief instruction to the children on flying in a dream setting, knowing full well that I was dreaming, and then I took off. I had a hard time staying aloft; I kept losing my control over the position of my dreaming body within the vision and I would fall back to the ground. This didn’t hurt, though I was frustrated and disappointed with my inability to really cut loose with the flying. I think my exercises drew attention from a neighbor within the dream and they seemed irritated with my efforts, as I myself was. Then I woke up.
In yet another lucid dream, I was in a home in CT that we had owned when I was younger, and I was with my brother at the beginning. There were caterpillars all over the ground under the balcony in the back, and if I touched one it would stick and irritate my skin, pricking it and making it burn. I then walked off towards the lake in the back and flew up into the air. My flight was irregular but steady in the sense that I stayed in the sky, not too far up above the surface of the water. In mid-flight, I looked to the shore and saw Robin Williams standing there with an beatific expression on his face of peace and tranquility. I saw him wave to me and smile; he was young in the dream, a young adult, maybe in his thirties, as I’ve seen him in his older movies. When I landed I went to the front yard and met up with my brother, parents, and aunt and uncle, and at that point my memory ends as I think I woke up shortly after.
In another dream, I began in my living room in my current house, which looked exactly as it does in reality. There was, however a strange dark horse or pony standing in the middle of the room that had a kind of magnetic quality to it, drawing my energy body towards it against my will. I tried fighting it, especially because every time my dreaming body made contact with this horse I would feel excruciating pain in my dreaming body as though I was literally in real pain. After several collisions and jolts, I realized I had to overcome my fear and allow myself to get drawn into the horse’s energy. The next time my body was drawn to it, I went with the feeling instead of fighting it and the collision was the most painful thing I’d felt in a dream in my life. I pushed myself into the pain instead of fighting it, and then something amazing happened.
I was transport from that world to another world in which I had my total faculties as though in a waking state, and it was a world populated with many people and beautiful imagery. I wandered around what seemed to be a giant mall, and I think there was a party going on somewhere in this dream world, though I didn’t find it. I was just walking around, looking at everything with my 20/20 dream vision and appreciating the fine quality of the visual stimuli. At one point, a woman on a floating, self-moving walkway pulled my pants down and started giving me a blowjob. She said something about not wanting to catch an STD (though I have none) and didn’t swallow for that reason when she stopped. After, I wandered into a kind of café with pastries available and lots of people standing around waiting for service. A good-looking Hispanic woman was eyeballing me as though she wanted me and I remember looking at her and smiling. The last thing I remember about this dream was running into an old friend, Irena, who told me I was “looking good” as I passed her in a lit up corridor under an archway. The lighting was a bright blue like a clear sky. I thought to myself that she knew that I was fit as a fiddle as opposed to being pretty overweight in real life, and that was why she made the comment. I agreed with her and continued walking until I woke up.
In another dream, I began in a house with my brother and his old friend Josh. I didn’t know I was dreaming at the beginning, and I felt groggy like I was drugged up in the dream state. At one point I was suddenly standing in front of Mark Wahlberg and two beautiful women sitting on a couch. I recall being amazed and surprised, and I blurted out, “You’re Marky Mark!” I stayed with them in their dream world for the duration of the dream, and I remember the two women (who were amazingly beautiful and truly captivating) playing a video game on a console like Wii, though I don’t think the system exists in real life that they were playing with. I kept telling them “I feel like I’m dreaming”, and I was only semi-conscious of the fact that I was actually in a dream state. There was a kitchen area and something went wrong with the garbage disposal attached to the sink when I poured some orange juice down the drain. The women ran into the room to help and then I woke up almost immediately. One strange thing about this dream was that I’d been in that world before, which I recalled after waking up, and had totally forgotten about up until then. I remember Mark Wahlberg and the two women and having met them before in the same world; I’m convinced I entered one of his own personal dream worlds and for some reason was able to hang out with them there more than once. In waking life I don’t feel a very strong connection to Mark Wahlberg, though I’ve loved whatever movies I’ve seen him in and think he’s a great actor. I’ve never listened to his music in my life.
I’ve had many such lucid dreams in my life, and expect to continue to do so. I’m actually planning a “whole new life”, which is basically biblical in nature; I’m selling whatever I own and giving the money to poor people, taking a backpack with a tent and all the things I would need to survive at least a bit comfortably in the woods, and leaving my home. I don’t own much and I’m actually in debt; I have no money of my own and am totally supported by my family right now. I’ve given this idea thorough consideration and was prepared to go twice this year, but I think the third time’s the charm. I believe in God, and that there are many lesser gods and other spiritual entities and forces, many of which are very good and wholesome. The patch of woods I’m going to to start this little adventure is a place where I’ve tripped many times in the past, and have felt very powerful connections to the divine there both on psychotropics and sober. I currently take medication for bipolar/schizophrenia, and I’m tired of this life, and I’ll stop taking the meds when I go. I will be taking a large quantity of pre-prepared Ayahuasca and intend to use it in those woods; I believe it will help me “reconnect” with God in nature and this will only facilitate my journey. I’m no shaman or expert, but I’ve had a good deal of luck with different psychedelics, Ayahuasca not the least, and I’ll trust that The Medicine has a will of its own and will work with me independently of other human aid. If I end up writing more trip reports, I’ll let you know how this all worked out and where I end up, what I’m doing, and what happened in the time between.
God bless and much luck to you, remember to fly safe.